Posted by: helldriversmovie | December 4, 2007

Why Crash Moreau SHOULD be scared of roller coasters

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Our hippie Hell Driver, Crash Moreau, spends much of his leisure time on the road searching for circuses, carnivals and amusement parks to satisfy his inner child.

You’d never guess that he hates amusement park rides, though. And the reason is fear.

Moreau, who routinely lights himself on fire and blows himself up in a box, insists he wouldn’t go on a roller coaster if you offered him $500.

After reading this Washington Post investigation into amusement park safety, maybe you’ll be crashing cars for thrills, too.

The Consumer Product Safety Commission has no employee whose full-time job is to ensure the safety of such rides. The agency’s 90 field investigators — who oversee 15,000 products, work from their homes and live mostly on the East Coast — are so overstretched that they frequently arrive at carnival accident scenes after rides have been dismantled.

As a result, critics say, supermarket shopping carts feature a more standardized child-restraint system than do amusement rides, which can travel as fast as 100 mph and, according to federal estimates, cause an average of four deaths and thousands of injuries every year.

As an aside, Crash Moreau also once puked on the Tilt-A-Whirl.

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